Pension lawyer meets world: Shangri-La Tanjung Aru, Kota Kinabalu

My general rule on holidays is never go back a second time. It tends to be a disappointment.

However, I made an exception for my end of January jaunt to Borneo. I went back to the Shangri-La Tanjung Aru in Kota Kinabalu. I do love this place, and no they aren't paying me to say so.

Firstly, I have to say the flight was better than most, care of Royal Brunei. The downside is they are dry, and the Islamic prayers are a bit creepy at the beginning. I am rather hoping they are relying more than Allah to get the thing safely across the world. More than a wing and a prayer.

But what made the flight was I got a bank of 3 seats in the middle of the plane to my self. Which meant that after the first leg of the flight to Dubai I could lie out across the three seats and get some proper sleep.

At Dubai you get turfed out for an hour to wander around the vast halls with their fake concrete palm trees (fake, but realistic, I felt the need to touch them to check).

Brunei is less impressive, although with fake palms too, but a similarly short wait for the last hop to Kota Kinabalu.

Thence its only about 10 minutes to the resort.

So why do I like this resort so much? Well firstly its well designed, and designed for everyone. Adults hotels tend to be filled with honeymooners and OAPs, family hotels have just too many kids. But this place suits everyone, and it also does a conference hospitality turn too. So its sophisticated, but child friendly too. All fitted in with different pools etc.

The resort has the innate advantage of having 5 tropical islands from a National Park right in front of it - see later entry for that.

But what really tips the scales are the staff. They are just wonderful. Not fawning, but they just give the impression that nothing would be too much trouble. friendly and smiling, they all speak good conversational English. And unlike most hotels in the Far East, you don't feel that anything they do is only in anticipation of a tip. They were all, without exception, charm personified.

But with that, out in Malaysia everything just works. This isn't the third world. So for example, I generally go to hotels that claim free wi-fi. But my last 3 visits to Italian city hotels have found wi-fi that was slow or patchy to say the least. Here, just worked a dream. Being nice is fine, but nice plus efficient is what you want.

Then obviously a decent room. Luckily, I chose to upgrade my room to club class when I arrived. Normally I would refuse these blandishments, but the guy on reception offered me this for £39 a night, with breakfast afternoon tea and evening cocktails thrown in. Just as I had declined, but then ummed about the free drinks he said "how about if I sweetened the deal a bit and offered it for £20 a night?" Lo, I was haggling the price down by half without even realising it! So I was persuaded.

Best decision I will make all year. First I got a bigger room on the 7th floor overlooking the sea (and indeed the 5 tropical islands).

You can't knock the view from the balcony can you?

Or maybe you would prefer to see it at sunset?

Then there were the massive breakfasts in the Club lounge on the 6th floor, ie right below my room. Breakfast starts at 6:30 am and I was one of the first in. So I got a table on the balcony overlooking the same bay, sound of the waves lapping gently below me. Not a bad view for breakfast is it?

I had a cooked breakfast - choice of Japanese (grilled salmon, miso soup) Chinese (seafood noodles), Indian (sorry can't manage a curry at breakfast) or a fry up (but being Muslim country that includes beef bacon and chicken sausages). Then there is a limitless buffet of cereals, fresh fruit, yoghurt and pastries and toast of course. My favourite was the lychees. And almond croissants.

But the best part was the evening cocktails. These were at the same time over and undersold to me. I was expecting an exotic cocktail menu when actually there are just a few basic spirits and wine. But they also provide snacks, which are the most copious snacks imaginable. They included dim sum, sushi, cheese and biscuits, savoury tarts, mini-puddings and pastries. Or in other words, as much dinner as you could want. As I don't really bother with lunch I had effectively bought full board. And I washed it all down with a couple of stonking gin and tonics. After which I slept very merrily. And promptly.

Any downsides? Well the clientele for the club class did tend to be the elderly Brits, some of whom I got on very well with. One lovely couple I basically spent the last few evenings with until the place closed getting gently sozzled on gin. But others could be incredibly boring.

A not untypical conversation from neighbouring table between couple and waitress went like this.

"He doesn't like seafood."

"No, seafood I do not like. Don't know why. But I like mussels. I can eat mussels."

"Yes he likes mussels. And you'll eat oysters won't you?"

"Yes I will. I will eat oysters."

Throughout the waitress is tittering professionally as if this is the wittiest conversation she has heard since Oscar Wilde last visited. I just sank behind my book and gin. That of course is the problem. This resort is perfect for people of any age. But unfortunately the only folk who can afford to come here at this time are the elderly and me. (Or including me. Gulp.)

But back to the resort. Scattered around is native art.