Saturday in the City and Hal Cruttenden

Just because I work in the City doesn't mean I get to see inside it that much. But on Open House weekend one can. And on a fine sunny autumn day its nice just to wander around the place without the hustle and bustle of a working day.

So, for example here is the centre of the Barbican.

Smithfield Market is of course still a working meat market, but a rather elegant Victorian building too.

St John's Gate has had a chequered history. Built in 1504 as an entrance to the Priory of the Knights of St John, it has outlasted most of the rest of the monastery, although the church is nearby. It was once the home of the painter William Hogarth, and reached its highpoint in the 18th and 19th centuries when it became a tavern. It got heavily restored after its spell as a City boozer, and is now the Headquarters of the St John's Ambulance Brigade.

In addition to the little museum downstairs we were allowed up into the galleries and meeting rooms above. Very impressive.

Then nearby is the Priory Church, with its rather odd combination of Georgian facde and gothic rear. The cloister garden is really lovely.

The church itself is bright and large and contains various bits of St John's ambulance memorabilia.

A trophy for competitive first-aiding. Another Olympic sport at  which Team GB could excel?

A stretcher on wheels

But the crypt is the real delight, and quite spooky. Would make a great setting for some horror film about devil worship.

Not a well man

Then onto the Old Sessions House in Clerkenwell Green. This was at one time the busiest court in the country, having a good local criminal population from which to drum up business (Oliver Twist was set in the area). The entrance and staircase are very grand indeed. Sadly, all the other rooms, although having promising names, have no character at all now and are just set up for conferences and parties. The Dungeon Bar for example, is far more bar than dungeon.

The dungeon bar

Just round the corner is Marx's Library. Pretty from the outside it is disappointingly very much a socialist library inside. Lots of clutter and vast piles of claptrap. Every copy of the Morning Star for example, and lots of other socialist magazines which only survived for a copy or two before they either ran out of money or split up due to doctrinal differences. Lenin once had an office here, see below, which is listed.

Lenin's office

After a tour of the library, I needed lunch and a pint or two. Clerkenwell Green is very well set up for that sort of thing. I especially recommend the Cornish Cider on a warm afternoon.

Suitably fortified, I headed back into the City. St Lawrence Jewry is a rather nice church, although a bit overwhelmed by larger modern office blocks. Attractive interior though. Would make a great sandwich bar.

Next door is the Guildhall. One of the real treasures of the City. Everything from the medieval hall, some dodgy modern additions, a very fine art collection, and on top of all that (or rather on the bottom) the remains of London's Roman Amphitheatre, extremely well displayed (given the lack of any significant structure - the Coliseum it ain't).

Trying to be contemporary - bronze of a City gent with mobile. But bloody big mobile by "modern" standards..

For some reason, the amphitheatre space also includes the City's copy of the Magna Carta. This isn't one of the original 1215 copies (of which there are only 4 extant). Bet you didn't know that there is more than one version, and the original 1215 version signed by King John only had a brief existence? Wily old King John soon saw to its demise by a bit of trickery. Luckily, he had a willing accomplice in reversing the civil liberties he had just granted. Now who could you find willing to destroy anything that looked like the start of human rights? Of course - the Pope, who else? So Good King John simply surrendered the kingdom to the papacy and Pope Innocent III released him from his oath and declared the document null and void for ever. Well has a pope ever been on the side of good? So far a pretty unblemished record of abuse down all the ages, but you never know, at some point in the distant future... Nah, not likely is it?

So, basically the schoolboy trick of making a promise with your fingers crossed behind your back. Not very sophisticted in the 13th century. However, trickery only gets you so far, and having been forced to sign up once, he and later kings got forced to sign up to similar commitments later, including Edward I who signed up to this 1297 version, which was also confirmed in Parliament. As a lawyer, its interesting to see how much shorter the Magna Carta is than say, various Pensions (Miscellaneous Amendment) Regulations. But then without a word processor you had to go easy on quill and parchment.

I did some meanderings around City Buildings, old and new,

before hitting the Thames and the City of London School. Now one has to say this is a well designed school building for an awkward site, but sadly it lacks any character, as modern school buildings tend to do. Mind you, having a playground over which St Paul's peeps, some Roman building foundations in one corner, and views across the Thames at the front from the wide balconies, probably make up for it.

Then onto the Unilever Buliding, imposing Art Deco form on the outside, modern office block inside.

Well that was just about enough for one day, well afternoon anyway. I headed home, grabbed some dinner, got changed and headed back into town to see Hall Cruttenden at the Soho Theatre. You almost certainly won't have heard of Hal, but trust me, you ought to have done. A very funny comedian, who made a trip into the seedy netherworld of Soho on a Saturday night well worthwhile.

A sample on childcare - talking to his kids. "Don't talk to strangers, love. But don't be too scared of them either. After all statistically, as an adult living under the same roof, I am ten times more likely to harm you than a stranger. NOW WILL YOU GO TO BED?!"

Or, on  the day John Terry decides to quit international duties, his musings on why only nice players, like Muamba, seem to end up with life-threatening conditions. "His heart actually stopped on the pitch, but the St John's ambulance men got to him in time. They probably wouldn't have bothered with Terry. "Its ok, give him 5 minutes he will probably run it off.""

He has the great stage persona of being straight (married with kids) but at the same time a slightly camp luvvie  - think John Sessions. "Did four years at RADA which is the worst training in the world for what you actually then do, chasing a two-line part as an accident victim in the Bill. "Ah, I suppose I should play him a bit like Iago.."