Rain in Penang

Now, as is typical in the tropics, it does rain, and when it rains it really rains. Usually its overnight.Ideal. But sometimes it can strike suddenly during a nice sunny day. If. like me, you had settled under one of the hotel's nice thatched umbrellas, you could happily ride it out (like the fierce sunshine) under its shade and continue to read and listen to the MP3 player while everyone else scarpered.

This might be as good a time as any to remark on the clientèle of this resort.. Guests are an odd bunch. Lot of elderly Brits. Some younger Aussies with kids. Lot of orientals, the women of whom seem paranoid about being in the sun. I saw one put a towel over her head to cover a 10 metre stretch between shade. I understand avoiding burning, but if you don't want sunshine you really haven't done your homework on destinations! Any dip in the pool is carried out in top to tail Lycra.

And being a Moslem country there are  a fair few guests from the Middle East. As you can imagine they stick out like a sore thumb. Well the blokes are just in t-shirts and shorts and so apart from being a bit fatter and more hirsute than the average Joe they don't stand out much. The women folk trail behind them in black tents which just look so bizarre around a pool. I was walking through the gardens late one afternoon and the wife didn't just pass in a veil of blackness, but even switched places to go the other side and behind her husband to get the maximum distance away from me as we passed. ( Oh actually come to think of it, all women do that with me....)

I fell in with a nice couple, he a farrier her a former nurse and we were were just musing over breakfast on how all religions seem to follow a similar pattern, some silly fancy dress, some weird food fetish (they serve "beef bacon" and "chicken ham" at breakfast here!). Bit of unnecessary fasting, bit of overindulgent feasting and some flashy overly expensive real estate (mosque, cathedral, temple) for the gullible to gather in. "Oh and we will throw in pilgrimage to see if they will travel in discomfort to some shit hole. Stick some random bones or other bits of human remains in a box and bet they will venerate them. Oh yes they do. Such a laugh. Just give them some cock and bull story about an afterlife, endless supply of virgins, paradise, coming back as an insect, any crap will do its not like they will be around to check its true. And a creation story. Ditto. Create in 7 days, build world on the back of a tortoise no one will ever find out the eternal mystery. Oh shit, the scientists have worked out creation. Ok, here is what we are going to do. You have two choices, either brazen it out and pretend science doesn't exist (and vote for Sarah Palin) or chuckle sheepishly and say we never meant it really; all that creation stuff was an allegory. Or something. Its just the rest of the stuff is true. All the stuff one can't prove. And the stuff you can prove, yeah that 's not true just allegorical, or poetic, or..."

I like to imagine the great founders of the religions divvying up the possible variants. "OK we will avoid pigs, you avoid the shellfish, you get the cattle, OK who is going to be veggie? You Catholics strike a hard bargain, Ok just veggie one day a week then, and even then you can eat fish, but in return you have to let your priests bugger your children. Deal? Good. Now for the silly hats to show you are leader. Rest of the fancy dress is in the box so sort it out amongst yourselves. Yes I know the yellow robes are bit gay. And yes someone has to have the black tent one. Alright, just the women need wear that, provided you men grow silly beards.