Day 13 Kuala Lumpur

This is a page which shouldn’t have existed. I should have had a nice over nightlight to arrive Heathrow early morning, but no such luck. Just as we were half way through security at Kuala Lumpur we learned there was a problem. Not from an announcement but just one poor Indian chap who came out and sort of milled around. Anyway it became clear, partly through a game of Chinese Whispers, that there was some fault and we would not fly out until 2 pm next day. Given it was now midnight that was some wait. But the good news is we would be put up in a hotel overnight. Now with a bit of common sense we would all have been ushered into one of the departure lounges, sat down, been told what was happening and asked for any questions. Instead we were all left in a huddle around the security gates (with no seats) awaiting news and to be told when coaches would arrive to takes us off. This is of course the worst method of mass communication as the one soft-spoken chap was assailed by the most vociferous passengers with rest of us trying to glean something relevant from the exchanges. And to make matters worse, if he did receive some news over his walkie-talkie people started to cluster round to hear what was going on. But to do so they had to walk through the security gates which were not turned off, and so beeped merrily as everyone grouped and regrouped, setting off the metal detectors, and of course making it all the more difficult to hear anything at all.

Well eventually we were led away to the coaches, but of course not before going back through passport control, and filling out a new set of immigration passes which we had only just given in on the way in. As people now panicked as we didn't catch the name of the hotel, I did point out that no-one was actually going to read these little pieces of paper which would all promptly go in a bin somewhere, so all we had to do was fill in with any random form of writing and that would be fine. I would have liked to insert for purpose of stay "desperately trying to escape, please let me out."

As it turned out we were to be taken to a 6 star hotel no less (which in my books is just like giving 110% effort. 5 star is top grade so you can't add any more. It would be like adding an extra grade to GCSEs like A* wouldn't it?  Just ridiculous).

And so we eventually trooped into the Palace of the Golden Horses Hotel. Now for I guess most of us this would have been the best hotel we had ever stayed in, so were quite up for the diversion. Or at least would have been had it not been 2am by the time we checked in, and we were now being told that the flight out would be 12 noon, so we were being collected at 9am. So that was 7 hours here, during which we were supposed to be given supper, breakfast, get showered, check out and so on, so we weren't going to enjoy it much. All I can say is that if somewhere called the Palace of the Golden Horses sounds kitsch and bombastic that's exactly what it was like. Statues of every style of horse (including a huge revolving fountain of rearing horses). So for an equine fetish, fine. But otherwise was distinctly unimpressed, but then frankly if you had given me a mattress and a shower I would have taken it anywhere. Just a few hours to sleep. And what really annoys one of course is that you are whisked away to an airport and then just have ages to wait doing nothing at all. And as it happens our 12 noon flight was delayed until 1.20pm, so another hour on top just hanging around.

So a return journey of over 30 hours in all. Couldn't really sleep on the plane so just watched a lot of dire films in a state of irritable exhaustion. As a captive audience one sees films you would never bother with, like to re-make of the Karate Kid starring Will Smith's little boy and the now aging Jackie Chan. This was so appallingly corny that by the end I was routing for the bully. When his evil master gives him his final pep talk "I want you to break his leg," I am sorry but I was thinking, "what, only one leg?"