Did I say only one Irish pub here? Found another - was just not looking hard enough. But that leads me to the main philosophical question of the day. What constitutes an Irish pub? (Yeah, ok its a slow day for philosophy.) I looked in one, for research purposes, not too difficult to do as one whole side is open to the street because of the heat (a typical Irish pub feature, of course). It consisted of a lot of teak furniture, a bar, one bored Malay bar girl staring into space and no customers. I thought about buying a drink just out of sympathy and to sample the crac, but as I would be supplying all the crac, didn't feel it was worth it. I know my limitations. So I guess its an Irish pub because it says it is (in big letters inside a shamrock) and it serves Guinness.
Ok, so here is where I do my bit for the Malaysian Tourist Board. So what's so great about things here? Perfect wide beaches, lovely resorts, pools, hot weather, blah, blah, but frankly been to lots of those all over the world. Maybe its just the Malaysians. Now every tourist board (well perhaps except ours) will trumpet the warm welcome they have for tourists accompanied by the broad smiling face of a (almost certainly young, pretty ) native female, or at a push smiley kids. Well, after all which Government sponsored tourist board is going to say "Watch out for the locals. They will shaft you the moment your back is turned"? And the smiling face on the poster will be a model and that will have been the hundredth shot to get the smile just that winsome. At best (ie most honest) you will get some reference to taking usual precautions and not carry around too much money, which you can be read as code for "You have a 50/50 survival chance if you go out after dark." But here it really is safe, relaxed and the Malays seem just so nice, helpful, and above all not pushy.
Now if I had walked around the main tourist drag as much as I have here, elsewhere I would have been hauled bodily into retaurants if I had been so remiss as just to glance at a menu in passing, been hailed down by every passing taxi-driver (because that's how hailing generally works out here, drivers hail passsengers), been interrogated as to precisely where I was going (and if drivers carried torches, they would be blinding you with them for signs of weakness in your story as to why you weren't using them for your journey), dragged into tourist shops and having my integrity as a human being questioned for not buying a fake brand T-shirt despite them having lowered the price by 75% in front of me, been given the services of a "guide" to visit somewhere I don't want to go and who has in any event a vocabulary of 50 words of English, 20 of which are the names of Premier League football teams and the rest the amount in local currencies they expect as a tip, and been offered their sister to sleep with (and if declined, their small boy). But here, despite any number of travel agents, restaurants, guides, shops etc, nothing. Just really polite response to any enquiry you might have. The service in restauarants might seem a trifle slow, although not sort of East European slow, but in any event you suspect its just that they don't want to disturb you more than necessary. (Though it does feel a little odd when you sit in a restaurant, are the only customer, the fridge is a yard away and a can of beer still takes 10 minutes to arrive.) And when the other day I had a 3-course Chinese meal, which was delicious and all for under a tenner, well lets just say that when I order a starter I normally expect it to arrive before the main course. Or at least in the first wave of food. But hey, its all good and they are so nice, well it would seem churlish to mention anything.
I have already noted how quiet it is out here. It is the off-season, indeed the rainy season. But don't let that put you off. Indeed embrace the opportunity. Despite the fact that is UK school holidays its still quiet. Rain, well up until yesterday just one very short shower which I only noticed because of the noise it made on my sun parasol. (okay yesterday there was an absolute deluge for which I would have been drier n the pool than out, but only for a couple of hours). But the other reason the place seems to be catering for vastly more tourists than there are is its apparently a big muslem (especially Saudi) destination, but they aren't here as its Ramadam. So all in all, ideal. Everything you could want, very reasonably priced, no obligation to buy and no crowds.
Downside? Well really all I can say is it seems a pity I am out here on my own. Went on a trip the other day with just a couple from Holland and a honeymoon couple from Gloucester and was just thinking how nice it must be for them together. I consoled myself with the thought that by the time they are my age they will probably have gone through an acrimonious divorce. (Hey. What did I say wrong? Innocent shrug.)
The said trip was to a mangrove swamp. Now I know that doesn't sound so great and probably conjures up images of leeches and crocodiles, but it was great. A very fair scattering of wildlife, from sea-eagles to brightly coloured crabs, monkeys to snakes. This was an "eco-friendly" tour, and so didn't for example partake in feeding the eagles (and Brahmim Kites). No we just watched other boats feeding them. So much better for the wildlife. Yeah. Not easy to photograph, but the monkeys were better (and so tame they even climbed on the boat to pose) and so were the crabs. And bats with the aid of flash in the caves. Just aim at a wall and bingo, there will be bats.We were impressed by our guide spotting a viper in a bush, when it just looked like yet another twig. But he explained it had been there for days. Apparently, like us they like a nice nap to digest their dinner. But while I might fancy an hour after a big lunch, they might go for 2 weeks. And we had the bizarre opportunity to feed fish at a fish farm, before tucking into fish curry. All I can say is rays are really noisy eaters.
And then to finish off the little boat with just the five of us went to this island bay where we were the only ones there, with pristine beach, caves and huge limestone mountain backdrop all to ourselves. No sound but us and the lapping waves. The water was lovely and warm. Just couldn't have been nicer. "Not a bad little job" commented one of the honeymooners, "just taking a few people out on a speed boat every day and mooring in this bit of paradise." "I bet the pension is crap" I reply. Doesn't that say too much about me?
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