Dara O'Briain

My morning/afternoon in Kew was partly attributable to the fact that I was seeing Dara O'Briain in the evening at Hammersmith Apollo, just a few stops along the line. To make maximum use of the the day, I had also arranged to meet up with a teenage friend from West London who was thinking of becoming a lawyer, particularly a criminal barrister. And one of the mates going with me to the comedy gig is just such a barrister, and since the lad lives only a few stops down the lube line, this couldn't have been a more serendipitous arrangement, barring that he had to leave early for fund-raising event.

Nevertheless, it gave us a bit of time to give a hint of unvarnished truth as to our careers. Could probably do with a second gathering to cover the ground a bit better. But what most struck me was just thinking how much a leap in the dark careers are. I had absolutely no idea what law was going to be like as opposed to anything else, and even when one starts one's legal  career you have no idea what you will specialise in. I think its fair to say that while some kids may have grown up wanting to be a zoo-keeper, or train driver, the tot who always wanted to be a pension lawyer has yet to be discovered. I think when it comes to careers you just have to launch yourself blind-folded in a vaguely favourable direction and the rest is a matter of seeing where the winds blow you, with a bit of battling against the storms as best you can manage.

As the lad parted, the rest of my comedy gang gradually gathered in the pub across the way from the Costa coffee we had had to meet in. (Interesting isn't it that in Scotland they want to give 16 year-olds the vote, but can't trust the little darlings with the really big decisions - like whether they can have a drink. Probably says something about the seriousness with which one should take Scottish independence, that it is a far less important decison than having a pint.) Then the four of us (one sporting an impressive facial injury from a rugby match in the afternoon) went across the road to see the prodigiously talented Dara O'Briain.

At one point in his routine Dara did say that if this career, ie being a comic, doesn't work out, he is f***ed. This is, of course far from the truth, not that it will need to be tested as the success of ehis massive tour demonstrates. But his success is partly built on him being a brilliant sharp-witted man. You see, although we sat there for 2+ hours, you didn't really feel you were listening to a comedy routine. You felt you were listening to a funny bloke just talking to you off the top of his head, in part about what being on tour is like. Of course, such spontaneity as this is generally well rehearsed, but then again he does spend so much of the time bouncing things off the audience that much of it must be off the cuff. But it all comes out so naturally.

He almost started by saying he wouldn't necessarily pick on everyone at the front. "I won't pick on you for example young fella. How old are you?"
 "13"
"Ah, you see, if I ask him what he's done" gesturing to his dad "there will be a wealth of experience of life to draw upon. You, you've got nothing. Oh yes, you might have done an essay once, and copied out a picture of a rocket and stuck stars around it, but other than that, nothing. Its alright sir, I'll stop bullying your son now."
And that sort of repartee filled a lot of the routine, or if not that, at least him telling us what members of other audiences had said.

I particularly liked his vitriol reserved for psychics, him being a man with a serious science education, and appearing with Brian Cox on serious astronomy programmes. Apparently, Dara having spent a popular science programme ridiculing astrology, Brian Cox then said to the audience. "However, this being the BBC, I have to give the programme some balance, so here it is. Astrology is rubbish." This apparently brought swathes of formal complaints to the BBC demanding that an astrologer should indeed have the right of reply for balance. Which were rejected because as Dara put it, "You see, you don't get your say because your uniform is a cape. On which you have sewn shiny stars." He also left us with a lovely way of remembering the difference between astrology and astronomy. "Remember astrology has the word "log" in it. A unit of poo."

This was one act where I would be interested to see the DVD, to see how different another night would be to the one I have seen. For example, when calling on ideas of what  to shout to get rid of a burglar in the night, I doubt he will get another inspired call better than "I've got airborne syphilis!"

If you didn't find any of the above funny, just rememeber it all has to be said in an Irish accent. You see? Now it works. Great night.